The birth of a miracle

One  week one day later-

Now that I have a few mins to chat I thought I’d share the story of our wonderful, fabulous, diva baby Lily. 

On Thursday, March 18^th, 39 weeks pregnant, Cayce and I went to a late afternoon OB appointment.  In usual fashion the appointments were running behind.  Once we finally made our way back to the ultrasound machine we spent a while just watching Lily.  She had beautiful fat rolls.  The tech spent some time, again, watching for “practice breathing,” and once again Lily did not perform.  The OB came in during our session and the tech told her there’s plenty of amniotic fluid, “enough for another week.”  Dr. M says, I don’t think we’ll go another week, more like a couple more days.  We finished with the tech, went back to the exam room, and Dr. M came in.  She did a quick cervix check.  Still at 1 ½ cm.  Lily’s still sitting pretty high.  My blood pressure was still high. Surprise.  Surprise.  She asked me if I was more ready to have a baby than I was earlier in the week.  Of course I was.  Then she’s sending us over to the hospital to have a baby. She’ll meet us over there with Cervidil and get the show on the road. Well then.  We’re having a baby.  The whole OB office was super excited for us. Oh, I just want to take a second here and rave about our OB care.  For those interested, or ever stuck in Beaufort, SC for the duration of pregnancy, Beaufort OB/GYN has given us the most awesome care.  My initial appointment had  me crying to Dr. M because she was the first dr. in 5 years to actually listen to me regarding possible fertility problems.  After suffering a miscarriage, an elusive menstrual cycle the 5 years prior, and being told by countless Navy drs to lose weight and then we’ll talk about possible fertility problems just having someone take me seriously and really talk about options was all the encouragement I needed.  One visit with Dr. M and I walked out of the office with a script for Clomid and a new found sense of hope.  Fast forward one hormone induced crazy month, one amazing trip to Walt Disney World later, and I’m peeing on a stick seeing a big fat “PREGNANT” for the first time in 5 years.  I was scared, worried, and amazed.  Our first OB appointment all the way through delivery and the days following were filled with awesome support and wisdom. 

Back to the subject at hand!  Lily! Once again, Cayce and I do not have our hospital bags.  One really would have thought we would have at least brought one of the bags.  Nope not us.  So we walk on over to the hospital.  I get into that pretty gown, strapped to an IV, give up some blood, and let the reality of what’s about to happen sink in.   

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This is why I was induced.  See the MASSIVE amount of swelling!  Dr. M hadn't seen someone as swollen as me without Pre-Eclampisa.

Cayce heads on out to our house to pick up our belongings, and while he’s gone Dr. M comes in to administer the Cervidil.  That was painful.  So at this point I am stuck to the bed for two hours.  No bathroom trips for me.  Who cares there’s still a big baby sleeping snug on my bladder?  I met the two hour mark with elation and a happy trip to the bathroom.  That was pretty much the highlight of the night.  I was strapped into an electronic blood pressure cuff (taking readings every 15 mins), hooked to the IV, and sporting two belly monitors.  Every hour I was STILL peeing.  So every hour I managed to crawl out of the bed maneuver the IV stand around the left side of the bed (once unplugged from the wall), disconnect the blood pressure cuff, and disconnect the belly monitors.  Then I hobbled to the bathroom, hobbled back to the bed and reattach everything.   On top of all that the night nurse would NOT let me lay on my right side, AT ALL.  Every time I tried she blew in and made me flip.  Boo.  Oh and duh, I was giving birth the next day.  I was given a sleep aid yet there was no sleep to be had by me.  None.  All night I kept fantasizing about the hot shower I was going to take in the morning.  When I was checked in I was told the schedule was, Cervidil, night time, shower, cervix check, Pitocin, Epidural.  Well, when morning time came I met the night nurse wide eyed and asking about my promised hot shower.  She tells me, um no, you should have mentioned that last night.  WHAT?!  I was exhausted and anxious and ALL I wanted was a few mins of freedom in the shower.  Now that was not an option.  When she left the room I burst into tears.  Cayce came to comfort me.  I was sobbing.  I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the labor.  I had no energy, and the one thing I had pegged my hopes on was being taken away from me.  I just didn’t know.  Meanwhile Cayce’s been so excited about what’s to come, and I think I may have been freaking him out a little bit because my attitude was a little sour.  I was just scared.  I finally  I psyched myself up and started my bathroom routine.  In walks an angel on Earth.  Meet Day Nurse.  She asks me if I was the one wanting a shower.  YES!  The dr. has okayed it for me to shower.  The nurse just needed to cover my IV site.  Oh sweet relief.  The shower was MAGICAL!  Exactly what I needed.  So I finally get out of the shower and get hooked back in.  

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Don't I look like a happy showered girl... note the lack of sleep written all over my face.

 A few mins later Dr. N comes in for the check.  The 4 centimeters!  YAY the Cervidil worked. The night of misery was worth it!  She orders the Pitocin, and Dr. N tells me at any time I can ask for the Epidural.  I mull over that for a while.  Angel nurse comes in after a while and I ask her.  Once I get the Epi I get a catheter right?  Yes.  Well, really that is worth it to me.  I’m so tired of the bathroom routine, and as lazy as it sounds the idea of the catheter sounds like a trip to the spa.  I tell the nurse I’m ready for the Epi whenever they are.  By the time the anesthesiologist makes his way in I’m feeling the pain.  The Pitocin is working.  Cayce’s kicked out of the room for this fun procedure.  By the way.  I LOATHE needles.  Angel Nurse is with me, and the Dr. is super chatty and trying to relax me.  I’ve got my face buried in the arms of the nurse, hugging the pillow for dear life.  Tears are quietly streaming down my face, not for pain, but for fear.    FINALLY the ordeal is over.  *Deep breath*  It wasn’t that bad at all.  All that hub bub for nothing.  I thank the Dr. telling him the Epi was what I was most worried about, and he did an awesome job.  Now I’m ready to have a baby.  After a short while I start to feel all nice and relaxed, and the elusive sleep from last night has found me.  I fell asleep.  I slept, and slept, and slept, and slept.  I literally slept away the day and the majority of our labor.  I slept from about 10 in the morning until 5:00 that evening.  At that time Dr. N came in and checked my cervix.  We’ve reached a big fat 8!  Woo hoo!  All the bad things I’ve heard about Pitocin and Epidurals, how they slow your labor, make it difficult, yadda yadda yadda, did NOT apply to me.  My body reacted exactly as science intended for the meds.  Dr. N says, well it’ll take a couple more hours to finalize and then we’ll push.  Eh, okay.  However, shortly thereafter I start to feel incredible pressure.  Dr. N comes back in at 5:30 and checks, 10!  10!  So much for a couple more hours.  She says we’ll start pushing in about 20 mins.  I spend the next 20 mins watching the clock and breathing through the contractions.  Twenty mins comes and goes, still no Dr. N.  Thirty mins passes, still no Dr. N.  Another 15 mins passes and still no Dr. N.  Enter Blondale, new night nurse.  She asks how I’m doing and I say I’m really ready to push.  She says she’ll check and just make sure.  Sure enough it’s time to push.  She looks at Cayce tells him to hold my left leg and we’re going to start pushing.  Just the three of us.  Blondale, Cayce, and me, we’re going to start working.  Now, originally Cayce and I had discussed that he was going to be playing a purely spectator role in the labor.  His view would be from the shoulders up.  So now here he was totally in it.  He was not given an option either.  I could be graphic and get into all the nitty gritty, but the bottom line is this.  6:15 we started pushing.  I didn’t scream, I whimpered a bit, struggled to breathe (that’s when Cayce came in super handy b/c he was able to coach me to breathe correctly), and felt pretty much the entire time that there was no way I was going to be able to push Lily out.  However, promptly 30 mins later Lily popped out.  I was crying.  I couldn’t believe it.  She was there!  She wasn’t crying, but she was mewling.  They laid her on top of me and I just kept looking at her.  She was here!!  Cayce cut her cord (something else he thought he didn’t want to do), and they took her over to the warmer, where she promptly had the first of many poopers (yes we are those people).  I teased Cayce he actually cut her cord, just like I told him he would when he was in the middle of it.  

                                                                                  Here's Lily!!

 After her mess they took her to the bath, cleaned her up, and then, bam poopers again.  So another bath.  In the meantime Dr. N’s still taking care of me and I’m merely a spectator now.  I’m just watching all the busyness around me.  Cayce’s right there every step of the way as they’re taking care of Lily.  It’s obvious he’s not going to miss a step.  They finally weigh her, 7lbs 15oz, 20 inches long.  God she’s beautiful!  It takes probably 30 mins for all the aftercare to wrap up, and then FINALLY she’s all mine.  Holding her is a dream come true.  I don’t know when the tears finally stopped, but about an hour after she’s born Cayce’s co-workers, boss and his wife all show up to welcome little Lily into the world.  Phone calls, text messages and the like are all sent out.  At nine the visitors are kicked out and Cayce leaves to get himself some food.  I’ve already been fed.  The BEST cheeseburger I had ever tasted in my entire life… seriously.  THIS hospital food is not bad at all.  Around 10 or so I ask to be unhooked from everything and shower.  There was no way I would have been able to sleep without showering.  The nurse was surprised I wanted to shower, but hey what can I say?  The shower felt great, of course.  Following the shower Cayce and I spend the next couple of hours holding and cuddling our baby.  

                                                                                              So in love.

                                                                                      Daddy's kisses!

 We moved to a Post-partum room around 12:30 AM, crazy right? But we did.  It was much more comfy.  Not that it mattered.  We spent the majority of the night not sleeping and trying to feed and soothe Lily.  I spent a lot of the night sitting up with her crying.  She refused to sleep in her bassinet and would only settle if held.  Finally around 6:00 AM the nurse came in, and I was holding Lily.  I was honest with her.  Told her I hadn’t slept and feeding had not gone well at all.  I explained that Lily was frustrated and it broke my heart which didn’t help the situation, and asked if Lily could spend a few hours in the nursery so I could get some sleep.  Marsha was kind and didn’t judge me, she sweetly swept Lily away to the nursery and I cried.  I cried and cried and cried.  What kind of a mother was I?  Twelve hours in and I’m sending away my baby.  Twelve hours in and my frustration has left me helpless and incapable of feeding my baby.  Cayce crawled into the bed with me and held me ‘til the tears stopped.  I finally slept.  It was only for three hours, but it was restorative.  I met Lily at 9:00 and was determined to make it work.  The day was spent sleeping, cuddling, and trying again to nurse.  Cayce changed about 10 diapers and I changed 1.  He’s super dad and the super swaddler.  Lily loves to be swaddled.  Cayce and I decided that the BEST thing for us was to send Lily to the nursery for the night and have her brought in every few hours for feeding.  This worked SO much better.  Each time Lily was brought in I had slept, felt refreshed and was ready try nursing.  Lily latched pretty well, and seemed satisfied.  Two of the times she came in her diaper was dirty and Cayce was a trooper and changed her for me.  After the diaper change she was peaceful and ready to eat.  I still felt terrible sending Lily to the nursery and cried when we left her, but I knew the previous night was a disaster and repeating the misery would not be good for anyone.  Low and behold the next day went much better, feeding wise and everything.  We were discharged around 11:00 in the morning and home we went.  

A lot has happened since she’s been home.  We had some major feeding problems, two very sleepless nights, one very informative visit to the pediatrician (who, again is FABULOUS),  and we are currently working through the issues.  She’s sleeping through the night, except to feed, and is not a fussy baby.  She’s sweet, cuddly, and just perfect in every way.  We’ve been blessed and we know it, and we can’t wait to see what Lily grows into.